Praise for Beautiful Wreck: Sex, Lies & Suicide

“A deeply personal account of the difficulties faced by people suffering from mental illness… Schroeder’s brutally honest memoir reveals the extraordinary effort required to take control of one’s mental and emotional health.” –Publishers Weekly

“A riveting and painfully honest account, Beautiful Wreck not only demonstrates the importance of humor and perseverance in the face of mental illness, but also affirms the power of self-reinvention.” -Kaitlin Bell Barnett, author of Dosed: The Medication Generation Grows Up

“I highly recommend this candid memoir, particularly for Schroeder’s strong voice that successfully balances life’s darkest moments with humor.” –Persephone Magazine

“Brave and relentless, a courage to do it all that astounds one. To write it all down. But that is what I have come to expect from Stephanie Schroeder. I have known her some 25 years and watched what she has done with her life: journalism, law; wonderful what she has been through; to hell and back again. A survivor. Always with a sense of humor, a jauntiness that says to hell with ordinary opinion.”  -Kate Millett, author of Sexual Politics

Written with humor, insight, perception, courage–a much needed work from a talented writer.” -Joan Nestle, activist, archivist & author of A Restricted Country and A Fragile Union

The memoir is now de rigeur, a rite of passage for middle-aged writers. To make one’s story stand out, it must stand up—to scrutiny, to deconstruction, to other people’s revisionism. Beautiful Wreck stands up—it’s the raw, honest, balls out (ovaries out?), in-your-face lesbian version of James Frey’s A Million Little Pieces without the lying and posturing. Schroeder takes us, in real time and retrospectively, on the trip through “comfort suicide”—the belief that death can be an answer to depression. She explicates how normative emotional pain so severe it makes you want to die can become. Fortunately, three attempts with no success were the charm; that dark round-trip down the river Styx brings Schroeder back irrevocably to life at its deepest, fullest and most inspirational. This is what survival is, and Schroeder lays it bare. -Victoria A. Brownworth, award-winning author, Too Queer: Essays from a Radical Life and Coming Out of Cancer

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“Beautiful Wreck”: Read the book!

Reader Responses

“If anybody is looking for Prozac Nation 15 years later, please, please check out Beautiful Wreck: Sex, Lies & Suicide by Stephanie Schroeder. I read it in one day and for anybody who…suffers from depression, anxiety problems, and/or bi-polar this book will reaffirm and comfort you.”

“…this is such an important message you have to share! By being brave enough to open your heart to speak about your experiences, many people can be helped and healed. A book like this, coming from a place of bravery and honesty can help people of all backgrounds.”

“Just got off the phone with a young gay patient to whom I recommended your book. He saw his own situation in your experience with that doc and it “hit me like a ton of bricks.” He said he realized it isn’t his condition keeping him from doing his own thing, it’s the negative caretaker in his life telling him he can’t. He’s finally agreed to therapy with medication, something his lover has discouraged. Just so you know. Mega thanks. This is huge.”

“Hi, I just had to write you..I spent the night reading your book from beginning to end and WOW, you are such a strong, beautiful woman with such a powerful story to tell. Thank you, Steph the story of you is so touching…so many of us can relate to what you’ve been through.. Congrats and…keep up the good work sista!!!!!”

“Illuminating book. Amazing. I saw far too much of myself in it and had to take a long walk this morning. I hope you continue to write about your life for those of us who can’t, whether we lack the talent, courage, or for other reasons. Hugs. Thanks again for the book.”

“This is an amazing book I’m reading for the second time. I have ADHD and a learning disorder so it’s hard for me to read front to cover but I am hooked. Hat’s and shirts off to you Ms. Stephanie Schroeder, your words, wisdom and honesty bring much inspiration and enlightenment.”

“Just finished your book. Amazing trip that I unfortunately RAN through – started last night and am now done… Hungry for more of your writing. Even though there were many passages that were terribly hard to read because they were just too vivid and I could breathe them myself. Brava!”

“I think that it is a very brave thing to do to write a memoir like that. To tell your story just the way it happened without editing any “ugly” parts (like suicide attempts) away. Because then it would not be YOUR story, it would have been an edited version!  It was so inspirational. I felt that the key message was that it is never too late to get help and find the happiness and love that you deserve!”

“Just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed your book! I’m glad you brought so many things to light… really gave me some insight into some of my own relationships! ”

 

 

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Thinking of Ken…

I’ve been thinking about Ken Rinciari, my friend who died over two years ago and whose life I am researching for my next book. I have felt an emptiness throughout my recent book/birthday celebration. While it’s all been great and people close to me have been uber supportive, my online conversations with Ken and his unwavering support of me is missing. I’d bet he and his longtime companion, Dawn, would have even made a trip from Holland to NYC to attend my book launch/birthday party and celebrate with me!

Thinking about Ken not being here hurts my brain. He was the first person really close to me who died. There have been more since, but his death was a huge blow.

For my research, I’ve been reaching out to his friends in the Netherlands where he lived as an ex-pat for the past 30-odd years, who have been most kind. And, to Ken’s remaining family members, old friends in his hometown of NYC and colleagues who knew him  when he was at Grove Press in its heyday in the 50s/60s along with others who somehow had a connection with him. Here are a few brief excerpts of what people have said about Ken:

From Dawn: “…Ken loved your writings…he adored you too and took every turn in your fortunes to heart.”

From a woman, probably aroundl my age, who knew Ken her whole life: I am so glad you are writing a book about Ken. He was a special person.”

From his cousin: Although Kenny and I were political polar opposites, we shared a deep love for each other. I cant begin to tell you how much I miss his kind soul. That’s not to say we didn’t engage in knock down political debates, but they always ended respectfully. I’m quite sure he was as frustrated with my strong beliefs, as I was with his. My view of life came from 32 years of being a cop, and his stemmed from a lifetime passion of a professional artist, and photographer. That in itself is quite an odd mix!

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The countdown…

I am diligently rewriting my manuscript, due to my editor on Wednesday. Exciting and terrifying at the same time. My publishing collective is fantastic, they are reconstituting their website, so take a look a peek at the progress.

From my publisher:

“Creative Evolution is thrilled to announce the newest addition to our organization:Creative Evolution Press. And, our inaugural book publishing project will be Stephanie Schroeder’s memoir BEAUTIFUL WRECK: SEX, LIES & SUICIDE.

Mark your calendars – the book launch party will be on September 10, 2012 in New York City at The Art Club Tribeca!

More, as they say in the publishing biz, T(o)K(ome).”

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Please Help Support My Book Project!

“It’s so much more difficult to be out about being mentally ill than being queer,” says Curve Contributing Editor and Hooked-Up blogger Stephanie Schroeder. “People think I’m ‘crazy’ because they just don’t understand mental illness. And don’t even get me started about domestic violence among lesbians, another taboo topic that gets (almost) no attention.” Schroeder addresses those subjects and so much more in Beautiful Wreck: Sex, Lies & Suicide, her memoir-in-progress.

Schroeder says the books is as much about New York City, where she has lived for the past 20 years, as about her past relationships with women and grappling with both Tourette’s Syndrome and bipolar disorder. “It’s kind of a bizarre guidebook to New York City, including its homeless shelters, psychiatric wards, hospitals for the criminally insane, sweaty nightclubs, hourly motels, S&M clubs, as well as domestic lesbian U-Haul dystopia.

“Bipolar disorder, along with other mental illnesses, is quite misunderstood,” says Schroeder. “I happen to be very lucky that I have excellent doctors and, because I am white and middle class, I get very good care. But so many people don’t for lots of reasons. I also don’t tow the party line that all medication is a mental straight jacket that wreaks havoc with creativity. I do have some mental side effects from my meds, but I am also committed to taking care of myself and staying on medication is part of that. I’ve attempted suicide three times and I never want to be in that place again.”

Read the entire article here: Help Support A Lesbian Project – Curve Magazine – Web Articles 2011.

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