I’m still depressed. I’m not going to work today or tomorrow because if I do I will walk out on my job like I have done so many times before. And I cannot afford to lose this one. I have a never-ending headache and backache, and generally feel terrible emotionally.
I’m tired of having to live up to the “highly functioning” bipolar mantle I’ve been wearing for years. I just can’t do it any more, at least not on a regular basis. I’ve got bipolar disorder and it affects me, no matter how much I would like it not to or how much both I and others pretend I’ve “recovered.”
I can’t really write much, just that all social plans from now until further notice are cancelled. For more, here is a very cogent post by the inestimable bipolar blogger Natasha Tracy about the costs of being a “high functioning” bipolar.